How to Deal with a Difficult Employee

In the very first week after taking over a new job, more than one person whispered in my ear “you have to get rid of Melissa, she is very difficult to work with”. Apparently, the previous manager in my position had tried to get this employee terminated for quite sometime. It turned out that the employee was a long-timer and a member of the local union, hence, a lengthy documentation process was required to justify dismissal. The previous manager had bungled the paperwork which necessitated the process to start from scratch. So, when I arrived on the scene, one of my first assigned tasks was to dismiss Melissa in such a way as to satisfy the union requirements.

Occasionally, a difficult employee has no idea that his/her behavior is a problem or that others react negatively to his/her actions. This is because most people tend to put up with the annoying behavior and “go along to get along.” At the same time, some employees just consider it a “job frustration.” Just like some managers, employees want to be liked by colleagues and subordinates and are therefore reluctant to speak up when a problem arises.

During my career, I have had my share of difficult people at the office. I had dealt with many in the usual way of ignoring the problem by working around it. However, this time
I decided to try a different approach. I had recently obtained an MBA from Columbia and had learnt quite a few skills about human behavior and motivation. I had been taught that most of the time it is not the people that are the problem but processes. Unless the process is changed, a different person in the same situation would behave similarly begetting the same result. I learnt about Maslow's needs hierarchy and employee motivation. I realized now was the time to put all this theory into practice.

The first task was to understand the issue at hand. I reviewed Melissa's resume and was surprised to see that she had a Phd degree, and was well qualified for the position. This was surprising since I was told by the others that she was not good at her job and was not qualified for the position. Her current task list did not reflect her potential skills.

Next I decided to talk to the employee to evaluate her skills and interests. I setup a one on one session and explained to her that the purpose of the meeting was to get to know each other. From the beginning it was apparent that she was very frustrated with her job and began venting her frustrations. I calmly listened to her without interrupting. During this tirade I gathered that Melissa felt that her previous manager had tried to get rid of her and did not value her contributions to the organization. She felt she was being excluded from being a part of the team by her manager and her ideas and suggestions were always ignored.

In the next few weeks, I kept listening to her ideas and suggestions about how things should be done. Some of the ideas were valuable but most were without merit. However, I felt that this employee needed to be heard and because management was ignoring her she was demoralized which was leading to her poor performance and causing difficulties to everyone around her.

Melissa's problems were not about salary or promotion. Her problems were more basic, she wanted to do her job and wanted to be recognized and treated with respect. So my initial actions were to give her the same respect as the other members of the team and include her in relevant discussions and solicit her ideas. I gave her tasks that better reflected her skills, she completed them on time and this further bolstered her confidence and her attitude and demeanor began to change. I also took care of  minor issues like getting her a new phone, a better computer etc. These minor things cost the company nothing but the returns were huge. She began to take ownership of her tasks and began to communicate and reciprocate better with her colleagues. Today, she is one of the most productive members of the team.

These are the three things I keep in mind when dealing with difficult employees at the office:

1.  Spend time with the employee and dont focus on the issue at first. Wait till the employee opens up and is more receptive to your suggestions. Use self-deprecating humor. This is very disarming, particularly to difficult personality types. The ability to laugh at oneself is a key indicator of emotional intelligence, or the ability to connect well with other people. Connecting and listening are the two key skills of good communicators. And being a good communicator is even more critical when you're managing a high-demand employee.

2. Don't take it personally if the conversation heats up. Recognize that this person is likely having difficulties with similar themes in many other professional and personal relationships. Remember that it's not about you -- it's about this person's prickly personality style; this will help buffer you from becoming emotionally reactive or stressed.

3. Say your message in as few words as possible. The less you say, the more likely you are to be heard. In a stalemate, rely on the old standby, "We don't have to decide this today." Or, "Let's sleep on it and get back to this later." Or, "Hmm. Let me give that some thought and revisit the issue next week."

4. Have an Open Door Policy. When people, and particularly difficult personality types, feel that you are approachable, they are more likely to keep the lines of communication flowing and less likely to let things simmer to crisis / boiling point.